<\/p>\n

Get the lowdown on sugar daddies, sugar babies, and whether relationships can truly be just an exchange of benefits<\/span><\/h5>\n

Words by Sarah Mattes<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Starbucks on a weeknight: The mecca for working men and women taking a break from the 9 to 5, older couples looking for a quiet evening outing\u2014and Iowan Adelle Atchison* hoping for a chance to meet her first sugar daddy.<\/span><\/p>\n

Atchison sees him sitting alone with his drink. She nervously purchases her own, depriving him the chance to provide her with a mocha latte. It\u2019s a little ironic. The reason they\u2019re both here is so he can do just that. \u201cI didn\u2019t want to lead him on that he was only gonna take care of me or something,\u201d she said. Still apprehensive, Atchison sits down in the hopes that this encounter could lead to something mutually beneficial. <\/span><\/p>\n

Pour Some Sugar on Me<\/h6>\n

Google \u201csugar daddy.\u201d The results will most likely include a gross Urban Dictionary definition and a whole bunch of websites with questionable promises like \u201cfour sugar babies for every sugar daddy.\u201d Many of those sites showcase photos of young women posing with older men, usually in fabulous locales. It might look like a middle-aged fantasy or a scene from a Michael Douglas movie. But the people behind the gloss and dollar signs are real\u2014and they\u2019re making their relationships work\u2014just like those using traditional online dating sites. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Thanks to a slew of sugar dating websites, the promise of a wealthy older person taking care of someone younger is becoming, if not more accepted, more accessible. Finding these types of relationships may have posed a problem in the past because of social shaming and personal privacy, but <\/span>since 2006<\/span><\/a> things have gotten a whole lot easier. That\u2019s when SeekingArrangement.com, one of the largest websites for finding a sugar daddy or baby, launched. The site was created by former tech consultant turned book author Brandon Wade, who has also written the appropriately titled <\/span>Seeking Arrangement: The Definitive Guide to Sugar Daddy and Mutually Beneficial Relationships<\/span><\/i>. <\/span><\/p>\n

Wade\u2019s site sparked a slew of imitators. Now there are over 25 different sugar dating sites, such as SugarDaddyMeet.com, MillionaireMatch.com and more. All of them promise to connect younger babies with wealthy benefactors without asking what happens after the introductions are made. <\/span><\/p>\n

The reasons people sign up for these sites are fairly obvious: A sugar parent\/baby relationship can most commonly be defined as an arrangement in which both parties are benefiting somehow. For daddies\u2014and if you believe the internet, it is predominantly daddies, though relations can come in any gender or orientation combo you can imagine\u2014it\u2019s more about having a counterpart to share and enjoy their extravagant lifestyles. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSugar babies are not being paid for services; they\u2019re not being paid for sex,\u201d explained Brook Uric, Seeking Arrangement\u2019s \u2018Let\u2019s Talk Sugar\u2019s\u2019 brand manager. \u201cThey like to receive gifts. They like to be spoiled. It\u2019s really not so uncommon for someone to want that in a relationship, but sugar babies are just a little bit more upfront and honest about that in the beginning.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

For Jake Campbell*, a 46-year-old North American CEO and an experienced sugar daddy, these relationships are about more than spoiling\u2014the benefits can range from intimate, physical interactions\u2014i.e. sex\u2014to platonic companionship.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI spend almost 20 days a month traveling around. All this business travel provides opportunity to stay in amazing hotels and eat food in chic, Michelin-star restaurants,\u201d Campbell said.\u201cThe irony is that you can\u2019t enjoy these amazing places as you are stuck alone and without some nice company by your side. The concept of enjoying all that with someone who appreciates and enjoys that pampering more than I do makes it even more exciting.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Legalese<\/h6>\n

Let\u2019s be blunt: <\/span>Skeptics of these relationships<\/span><\/a> say sugar daddies and sugar babies are just a hop and free ski trip away from prostitution. But Ken Perry, attorney and partner at <\/span>New York<\/span><\/a> law firm Perry & Aronin, said there\u2019s nothing illegal about the Sugar Daddy dating websites.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re not saying give me X amount of money and I will screw you,\u201d Perry said. \u201cThey\u2019re quote-unquote in a relationship with benefits flowing both ways. And there\u2019s nothing illegal about that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

According to <\/span>Iowa penal code<\/span><\/a>, prostitution occurs when someone \u201csells or offers…the person’s services as a partner in a sex act, or who purchases or offers to purchase such services.\u201d That\u2019s an aggravated misdemeanor, punishable by up to two years in jail. <\/span><\/p>\n

Perry explained that from a legal standpoint, the websites are not explicitly promoting sexual activity or prostitution. If someone reports that site members are partaking in prostitution, the individuals involved are charged with a misdemeanor, but the website is not. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTherefore it is incredibly difficult to prosecute them on illegal behavior. Could these people be arrested? Probably. Have I seen some of these things become the basis of prostitution? Yes, I have,\u201d Perry said.<\/span><\/p>\n

In terms of legality, generally speaking, sugar dating and the websites that provide the forum for it are following the laws the way they are written. But that doesn\u2019t mean that all of the patrons of SeekingArrangement.com or SugarDaddy.com are behaving accordingly.<\/span><\/p>\n

Atchison recalls when one conversation took an inappropriate turn. \u201cHe was like, \u2018Would you ever be interested in carrying someone else\u2019s child and getting paid for that and being taken care of, like, after the fact?\u2019 I had to put an X on that very quickly.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

While some experiences can be uncomfortable or even shocking, others, like Atchison\u2019s Starbucks date, can turn into opportunities. As the night went on, Atchison and her potential daddy chatted and got to know each other. \u201cThen he asked me if I wanted to go to dinner,\u201d Atchison said.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI said yes.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

*Names have been changed.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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