How One Viral Post Built a Real-Life Community in Des Moines

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“Does anyone want to grab dinner or coffee?”

Kristin Falatea was new to Des Moines, Iowa. Originally from Hawaii, she moved to the city to support her husband in his career, but she wasn’t sure how to feel about the place. People talked about “Midwest nice,” but she wasn’t meeting friends. Getting past surface level conversations can always feel daunting. Soon after the move, the idea hit her: Maybe she could build her own community in this place that she’d heard was welcoming and get to the root of true connection.

So she uploaded a short video to TikTok, asking if anyone wanted to get together. She was sure that there would be others out there who felt like she did — searching for a community, craving friendship, wondering where to start. 

Right away, her comments were flooded with responses from other girls. That night, the DSM Girls Club was born, part of a growing trend of social clubs that connect online but build community in real life.

“Within the first night I posted it,” Falatea says, “five hundred people joined.”

Community Inside the Midwest 

In an age when digital connection often replaces real conversations, genuine friendships may seem out of reach. Scrolling through perfectly curated feeds feels lonelier than ever. Craving real connections through conversations, rather than a comment section, is at the root of an increasing need for group meet-ups like Falatea’s. This region’s traditional sense of community and our generation’s comfort with the tools of technology help us find each other.

The DSM Girls Club’s story isn’t uncommon. BFF Indy is a women-only Indianapolis-based group of 20,000 members. The community chats are structured around age, life stage, and interests, ranging from books to dog ownership to Bible studies. The group gained its following fast, similar to Falatea’s. FemCity Chicago promotes friendships and networking; its members are committed to helping each other grow personally and professionally, with members spanning all walks of life on every rung of the corporate ladder. This has a vastly different model, but it goes to show how women in different stages of life are still seeking these connections. 

Falatea’s DSM Girls Club is centered on women in the Des Moines area, including young professionals, those who have entered motherhood, and other stages of life beyond. I joined the group two weeks ago, becoming the 800th person to do so — since then, membership has climbed to more than 1,000 women. Falatea made an Instagram account for the members to connect outside of the arranged GroupMe chat. The Instagram account @dsm.girlsclub has grown to over 800 followers within four days. 

“I want the group to be about exploring Des Moines and loving where you are — to grow where you’re planted,” Falatea says. “I hope that people see what I see in this city and that they do it together.”


Growing where you’re planted has been a key theme among these groups. Some have lived in the Midwest their entire lives, whereas others moved here for careers and other reasons. The commonality is that they all quickly built a new community in this place that’s uniquely good at fostering them.

A Launching Point

The October meet-up with DSM Girls Club was a Pilates class held at a local winery. As I approached this group of complete strangers, I was nervous; I’d never done Pilates. The night before, scared and anxious, I’d watched YouTube videos that explained how to do the moves, wondering what I’d signed myself up for. 

The morning was sunny and cold. Yoga mats stretched across the grassy lawn. Women greeted each other in a soft chatter that drifted toward me on a gentle breeze. The speakers played dreamy warm-up music, the beat picking up a little as I approached. 

Women were waving to friends, introducing themselves to newcomers, and stretching out on their mats. For me, a major introvert, I shocked myself with how natural it felt to step in. I was immediately met with smiles. Even as an outsider, I didn’t feel out of place, and the sense of belonging was immediate.  

Women who arrived early offered extra space to those arriving late, making sure everyone was situated and comfortable. Those who forgot hair ties were offered one. First-timers shared blankets, working out side-by-side. As I looked around for a free spot, a woman moved over and gestured for me to scootch in next to her. The music went from chill to blaring positivity, and we all started to move. 

“I moved here from out of state and didn’t know anyone,” says Claire, an early member. Now, she says, “These are the first people I reach out to when I want to go do something. It’s become such a strong support system. Whether I need advice or just someone to grab coffee with, there’s always someone there.” 

Falatea says that the group has a lifestyle focus, but the events are just as varied as the members. Outings have included paint nights, farmers’ markets, exploring a local antiquing hotspot, and going on group walks. 

“The goal is that people come to these events, meet others, and branch out — hanging out during the month and forming smaller circles,” Falatea says. “I want this to be a launching point for lasting friendships.”

The model of the group is proving itself to be successful already. Women within the group have a smaller Bible study where they regularly meet up on Sundays, and others have formed smaller groups to check out the dining discoveries of Des Moines. All of these smaller groups originated from the large group of the DSM Girls Club. 

The sense of empowerment extends beyond the conversations. Beth Kreykes, the day’s Pilates instructor, connected with the DSM Girls Club through social media. “We had over 230 people register, which really shows the power of social media in bringing people together,” she says.

Several vendors set up booths around the winery for post-workout browsing. All were local, women-owned businesses, selling matcha and coffee, permanent jewelry, tooth gems, flowers, and clothing racks. The vibe was a celebration of women supporting women and a reminder that community means collaboration. 

Bianca attended as a sponsor with El Valle Tienda, a Mexican grocery store on the south side of Des Moines. She connected with the group through a former classmate from high school, Daniele Ogren, the owner of Rive Pilates. 

“We value our community,” Bianca says. Seeing all the women come together to support each other was powerful. “We get to move our bodies, grab some cool drinks, shop a little, and most of all, feel safe and have fun.” 

Kreykes says, “I thought it was so important as a woman-owned business to also be involved with events like this.” Noting the power of social media for connecting the vendors and the members of the group to the event. 

The morning wrapped up as women exchanged contact information and took photos with their newfound friends. While we may be collectively stuck in our technology, it was beautiful to see how these connections transferred into real life. Social gatherings often feel nerve-racking, but for once, I actually left a new group of people feeling refreshed and empowered.

Their event for November was a walk around Gray’s Lake Park in Des Moines. This event marked their first collaboration with a different group, the 515 Run Club. The 515 Run Club is a group unique to the Des Moines area where members meet up and go for runs as a group. Though this group is not mutually exclusive to women. Marking a new form of collaboration for the DSM Girls Club.

There was an instructed yoga session provided for the group after they concluded running, and there were different community partners for this event, as well. Ranging from matchas to massages. The group still showed up to walk around the lake with one another despite the rain and 40-degree temperatures, on the early Saturday morning. That is what showing up for one another truly means. 

A simple TikTok invitation evolved into something far more lasting: a community of women who are part of rewriting the rules of friendship in a digital world.

New member, Sierra, says joining the group has been life-changing. “New will always be scary,” she says. “I would have never met any of these girls if I hadn’t taken that first step.” 

Where Do I Start?

One of the most overwhelming parts of getting a group together is deciding where to start and how to do it. While it may seem intimidating at first, it really can be as simple as Falatea’s TikTok video. The beginning of forming a new community does not have to be perfect or overcomplicated. 

Based on the groups mentioned in this story, a few tips to start your own community local to you are:

1. Start small.
2. Decide your niche and what you want from the group.
3. Make the post -– be clear, be inviting.
4. Start a group chat or social page.
5. Be inclusive. It’s not about exclusivity but genuine community and connections. 
6. Schedule regular meet-ups — consistency is key.

Understand that a new group may not amass a large following overnight. Sometimes it’s easier to make friends in smaller settings. As long as you show up as yourself and stay consistent, trust that your people will find you – because they will.

Audio Read-Aloud Editor: Melodie Yang