Ten Years of Tinder, Ep 2.

10 Years of Tinder Podcast

On this episode, listen to us as we talk dead hamsters, Texas Roadhouse, and house party invites gone wrong.

10 years ago, Tinder made its dating app debut and quickly became one of the most used and infamous outlets for lovers and one-night stands. To celebrate a decade of dates, co-hosts Kaili JiMei and Logan Strufflebeam sourced and handpicked the best WORST Tinder first dates stories to share on their mini podcast series, 10 Years of Tinder.

Transcript

LOGAN STUFFLEBEAM, HOST AND KAILI JIMEI, HOST:

We’re back.

KAILI:

Hello again and welcome to Episode Two of Ten Years of Tinder sponsored by Urban Plains.

LOGAN:

I’m Logan and we’re continuing our series and bringing you some of the worst first date stories from the app you either love 

LOGAN AND KAILI:

or hate.

KAILI:

So again, these are all unfortunately real and sourced by yours truly.

LOGAN:

Before we get into it. Any updates from the weekend at all?

KAILI:

So yes, actually, I was at an event this weekend and everyone was giving out superlatives. And mine happened to be most likely to be a brand ambassador for dating apps. And I had no idea. But I guess that must be my reputation. I don’t know. But the two girls came up to me and they said, we need to talk to you about something.

And I said, What? And they said, We want advice on dating apps, like, will you help us? And I said, there is a booth nearby. And as a kid comes in and we sit there and I kind of give them the whole rundown on Tinder hinge on the the whole bit. And yeah, I think basically there are just different meanings and like, you know, intent from app to app.

And I kind of I gave my little pitch, but yeah, I just thought that was funny. That must be like, I don’t know if that’s. No.

LOGAN:

Yeah. This is what you’re meant for. But nothing is quite like Tinder, so, let’s get into it.

LOGAN:

All right. The first one comes from Brad from Des Moines. Hi, Kylie and Logan. I saw your Tinder bio, and I just wanted to reach out to let you know that I actually had a girl’s ex-boyfriend stalk her to our date at Texas Roadhouse and actually scream at her inside of the restaurant. So apparently when her ex looked at her location and saw us, she was at a restaurant– and they had just broken up three weeks before our first date.

I was actually at the table when it first started happening. Oddly enough, he didn’t even address me once, but after about a minute of straight screaming, the manager escorted him out of the building. Unfortunately, I had to break things off with her because I don’t date women who have previous relationship baggage. Also, I don’t didn’t want the dude finding out where I lived as well.Mostly the latter.

Much too much to unpack, Brad.

LOGAN:

No. I know that there’s a lot that you can look at with people’s Snapchat locations and with locations and iPhones. And stuff like that. In general, it’s very easy to see people’s location, but I’m interested to know how he knew that his ex-girlfriend was on a date rather than just out with her friends or her family. So all around, I think, very bold move from the ex– Don’t do that.

KAILI:

I mean, we have no idea what type of screaming this was like. It was like if it was accusatory or if it was ballistically screaming. Also, I want to know, Brad, where did you know this ex? And maybe he must have had you on Snapchat and saw that you were at Texas, her house on a Friday night together.

LOGAN:

Yeah.

KAILI:

Or yeah. Like I need to know more context behind the relationship between these three people. To truly make any judgment about it. But just getting screamed out at Texas Roadhouse, horrible vibes. It’s already loud in there. So you have to be using a pretty loud voice if you’re carrying the message that you are screaming at someone and it’s pretty packed.

LOGAN:

So second hand embarrassment, not fun for Brad.

KAILI:

 Logan, have you heard that rule about when to start dating after breakup or what do you think?

LOGAN:

I have heard a rule, a rule that I do not follow but it should be one month for every year is a rumor that I’ve heard. I think it definitely depends on the people in the relationship, of course. And how you connected with that person like personally, person to person. And also like I think it’s important before you get into a relationship to obviously find yourself and I think that takes different amounts of time for every person.

KAILI:

So yeah, I absolutely agree because that means like if you date someone for three years, according to that rumored formula, you would wait three months before dating again. I feel like that’s a shame. But I mean, it’s up to the person.

LOGAN:

Yeah, it’s up to the person and the relationship… that feels a little quick to me. But I also like my own alone time. So maybe that’s why.

KAILI:

But OK, so our second story comes from Carly from Chicago. And I like to call this one personally, hamsters and car karaoke. So Carly says, “Hey guys, I went on a date with this dude the summer before I met her, before I started college. He seemed super nice. And so we agreed to grab dinner with him. We met up in the middle, and then I drove us to dinner, always meeting him.”

She says, “he was already kind of awkward and just not my type. Lacks a lot of confidence. And so dinner was just not the best. We went to the lake after to go chat and started off normal, so he, out of the blue, told me a story about how he had this cancer when he was younger that he loved but accidentally stepped on.”

LOGAN:

Oh, no. 

KAILI:

“…And then started crying. I had no idea what to do and felt super uncomfy. Here was this grown man crying into my shoulder about a hamster he stepped on and killed when he was like ten. Talk about childhood trauma. I drove him home and in the car he challenged me to a sing off. And he could not sing. And I certainly did not sing back. He just started playing and I just sat there. He then tried to kiss me at the end of the date and I moved out of the way and gave him a nice hug. I texted him the next day saying that I did not want to go out again because I wanted to focus on my friends. That was obviously not the truth, but I tried to be nice.” 

LOGAN:

Honestly, a very valid excuse and good for Carly because I’ve said it before: I am a ghost-er, I just ghost people. I would just– I don’t have that kind of conflict resolution in my life. So good for you, Carly, giving this man some closure that he needed.

KAILI:

Yes, a queen.

LOGAN:

The line has stuck out to me is that I did not sing back.

KAILI:

As you shouldn’t.

LOGAN:

As you probably shouldn’t. Me? I cannot imagine the atmosphere in that vehicle when he expected her to sing back and she just didn’t.  Carly, we love it. A lot of boundaries.

KAILI:

Also, if he like, did he turn to you and serenade you like face to face, expecting a duo or was he just like singing to you?

LOGAN:

The way that she phrases it? It sounds like he was expecting something– like this was a two part song.

KAILI:

AJR is not a one man band.

LOGAN:

Oh, my gosh. Crying on the first date, taking a completely left turn, into your into your shoulder, no less …. very vulnerable with you.

KAILI:

Yes.

LOGAN:

Too much for me personally.

KAILI:

About a childhood trauma. And I feel like everyone has childhood trauma with their hamster, they’re traumatic pets. Why? It is recommended that a child start off with the hamster as a first pet? It will always break your heart and leave you traumatized.

LOGAN:

True. They have a really, really short lifespan anyways, whether or not you step on them.

KAILI:

So I remember I had a childhood trauma with my hamster. I remember I was coming home from elementary school and I got off the bus and I went up to the little hamster cage and it’s not there. And then I found him. He’s passed away. So my friend and I, who we both got off the bus together and we were just hanging out at my house after school. We decided to have a funeral for my hamster.

LOGAN:

As you do.

KAILI:

As we should, and we put him in a box and buried him get this under my trampoline. I think you may see she there in this box of the day. 

LOGAN:

Oh, my gosh. OK, moving on from a hamster trauma, on a happier note? Well, on a different note, the story comes from Dalton. He says, “Hey, guys, it really isn’t as wild as it is disappointing and gross.”

Way to start off. “But we were throwing a party and I was spreading the word around and was using Tinder to do that. Well while the party was going on– I’m outside playing pool in the garage and can’t keep my eye out on everyone like I’d like—and this girl, let’s call her Britney Spears, had went into my roommate’s room, open the sliding door in his closet and proceeded to pee all over his clothes.” 

He then says, “30 seconds passed. Explosion emoji, explosion emoji. She rips my friend’s dresser over and proceeded to try to pee behind it because somehow she has the bladder of a giraffe but had been stopped before the lemonade party could begin. Long story medium though, I will never throw a house party like that again, and still haven’t talked to that girl since this day.”

KAILI:

A true and tragic house party gone wrong truly.

LOGAN:

First of all, Dalton, you’re funny. And second of all, this woman is strong, she ripped a dresser. You know, I’m impressed and scared of her. She’s bold. And you know what? I almost… I almost respect it. Dalton, you’re funny. The explosion emojis are funny to me. They match the vibe.

KAILI:

His voice comes through this text submission.

LOGAN:

It does. Dalton. We feel like we know you now. However, I would advise never using Tinder to spread the word about a house party. Is it innovative? Yes.

KAILI:

Do you draw a bigger crowd, potentially?

LOGAN:

Possibly. These are people that you don’t know that you were inviting into your home. And from a safety perspective, you know, don’t do it. It seems unsafe on both ends from the person that’s going. If you don’t know whose house you’re going to. And also, it seems unsafe for the people in the house. So.

KAILI:

Yeah, I mean, if you– you have to know the risks if you’re going to. 

LOGAN:

Yes.

KAILI:

Or any dating app or any social media app to invite people to your house party, just know you might get people like Britney Spears who are just so strong willed and have the urge to pee on not only your clothes, but your roommates.

LOGAN:

What– how– what was this conversation like with the roommate? How do you explain that?

KAILI:

That is what I would like to know. Were you guys’ friends? Did you remain roommates? I hope that you did and I hope that you sincerely apologize to your roommate. But now we know now we know that Tinder is for dating only.

LOGAN:

Good luck at all of your next house parties.

KAILI:

Yes. So I guess to conclude this episode on your next first date, watch out for screaming exes. Be mindful of hamster drama and always advertise your house parties with caution.

LOGAN:

Can’t get enough? Catch our next episode where we talk sexy serenades, Catan and a secret French affair 

LOGAN AND KAILI:

Bye!

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